I was watching the Olympics yesterday afternoon when an Amber Alert streamed across the bottom of my screen. A 17 year old girl had been abducted by 2 men earlier in the morning. The alert included a pretty good description of the vehicle and the abductors and, fortunately, in about an hour, reports of her discovery were released.
The day before this incident I was sitting in a restaurant in Kittery Maine on my way home from a refreshing 2 days away from work. Kittery is a factory outlet town and a stop for many bus tours. Sitting behind me in the restaurant was a middle aged man having lunch with a women he apparently hadn’t met before. I surmised from the conversation that they were each alone on a bus tour and at the lunch stop were seated together. This guy was quite busy trying to hit on his companion. She seemed to be somewhat guarded but didn’t seem threatened either. I suspect he hoped to get lucky later but I don’t think it was going to happen.
The world is full of predators and, sadly, many of us will become pray. One in 4 women will be sexually assaulted sometime in their lives and, although it’s a smaller ratio, many men will become victims too. In Phyllis Curott’s first book, “Book of Shadows” she recounts several incidents of sexual assault and domestic violence. With this threat so high it occurs to me that one of the very first senses we should focus on developing is our awareness of danger. Sometimes I think we get so enchanted with divination and other “6th” senses that we forget, sometimes even block, our other natural instincts. In his book, “The Gift of Fear” Gavin De Becker describes numerous examples where danger signals were flashing like traffic signals but the predator managed to lower his victim’s defenses. (This book, by the way, belongs on the reading list of every woman.)
When we hear the word predator we visualize a dangerous creature. This is not necessarily the case. Like “The Big Bad Wolf” in “Little Red Ridding Hood”, predators often disguise their intentions behind a mask of friendship. To gain your confidence they offer their kindness, e.g., “Let me help you with those bags” or “That tire looks a little low, let me take a look at it”. Another technique is forced bonding, e.g., “Let’s get you in out of the rain”. Using the word Let’s, as in Let Us, the predator implants the idea that you are now working as a team to solve a problem. Sometimes a predator will borrow from the tricks of the “confidence man”. Most people think the term Confidence Game derives from the victim giving THEIR confidence but actually, the con-man offers HIS confidence. By suggesting that he is going to trust YOU he actually is transferring a gilt trip to you for not trusting HIM. Don’t be suckered in. If you didn’t ask for help you have no reason to feel guilty for not excepting it. Say NO and mean it and don’t take YES for an answer.
When you receive mixed messages, listen to your senses. You are getting messages from your primitive instincts. The survival skill is one of the most important senses we can develop. Sometimes as “WITs” (Witches In Training, *grin*) we get so hung up on using “magic” that we totally dismiss our other senses. We want to get our information from telepathy or psychic senses. It’s not the source that is important, it’s the information. We don’t use just our tongues to taste food, we don’t use just our eyes to enjoy our gardens. Learning to gather information from all our senses strengthens all our skills and our connection with nature.
Fear is our ally and some of the most important magic we have. Learn to use it to your advantage. It could save your life.