So I’m wondering through some techno product catalog when I realize that civilization, as we know, it has ended. We have crossed over the boundaries of sanity and mark the demise of all intelligence on this planet. But before I address this sad issue I want to talk about toilet seats.
I know this topic creates a strong divide between the sexes. In the terms of sexuality the toilet seat is probably the Grand Canyon dividing males from females. I know even bringing up this topic I risk loosing my “Honorary Women’s” status that I prize so much but sometimes we have to address the dark side of life.
I’m actually pretty well trained. If my visit to the lavatory requires I sit, I need do nothing -short of flushing- when I finish. If, however, my trip does not necessitate sitting I lift the seat before emptying my bladder into the bowl. NOW, from MY perspective, I would think that step alone would be the important issue. I mean, it doesn’t matter if you are male or female, who wants to park your butt on a wet seat? No one! But, alas that is NOT the issue most addressed when discussing this delicate subject. The issue is putting the seat back down, which I do.
Now, as I mentioned, I’m pretty well trained. I wasn’t always, I admit, but somewhere in my married life I was given “the lecture” and realizing the seriousness of this issue to the feminine population, have consciously focused on returning the seat to the down position before leaving the room. I did this without argument or further discussion valuing a harmonious environment over the impending turmoil such failure would incur.
Certain questions have occasionally arisen however, questions, until now, I’ve been afraid to address. It is with great trepidation that I raise this issue now but curious minds need to know: As a male I have, throughout my life, been faced with the decision to sit or stand when approaching the toilet. If I only need to stand I bend slightly, raise the seat, and do what must be done, NOW, followed by lowering the seat as I depress the flush handle.
If I need to sit, and the seat is in the upright position (Goddess forgive), I lean over and lower it before resting my buttocks over the bowl. It’s not a difficult task, at least for men, so I ponder this question, not daring to address it in mixed company and, realizing the volatility of the subject, post it here with fear in my heart. Why, if a man can raise or lower the seat as needs direct, a woman, who is suppose to be better at multi-tasking, has hip placement better addressed to lifting, and proposes to be the superior being, unable to do this, seemingly natural task?
But, I’ve digressed. I wanted to discuss this product that marks the end of intelligent life on this planet. The product, “LavNav”, is marketed as follows: “Bathroom lights can be painfully bright in the middle of the night and can disturb you or your partner’s sleep. Unfortunately, most nightlights waste electricity all night long, occupy valuable electrical sockets, and don’t put light where you need it. The LavNav, a toilet nightlight, is the better solution. It turns on when you approach in the dark and turns off when you leave shining gentle yet sufficient light where you need it, when you need it. The LavNav uses red and green light to clearly show the position of the seat…” This product, I need to point out not having the photograh here to post, mounts on the underside of the toilet seat cover (which I also lower to prevent thirsty pets from using as a water bowl).
Now, this in its self leads to some confusion for me. If, as a male type person, I stagger to the washroom at two in the morning to do the most likely task one would do at two AM, urinate, and the light is GREEN, what does that tell you to do? Go right? Well, that’s when the toilet seat is down showing obvious discrimination toward gender. Further more, this company, has also failed to address the issues of the handicapped (color blind) who typically cannot distinguish red from green. But really, does a 15-watt nightlight encroach on your life style. Do we really need a proximity sensing, position sensitive, toilet seat in our world? How did our ancestor’s ever survive?